The Centre for Healing Blog


Why Is It So Hard To Forgive?

emotionalhealing forgiveness spiritualhealing traumahealing traumarecovery Apr 16, 2016
how to forgive

When I think of the word forgiveness, I think of my clients who find it hard to forgive someone. By the end of the session they have, but the main feeling that they needed to release first was the anger.

When you think of someone that you don’t want to forgive, when you think of that person – what is the first emotion that pops up for you?

Majority of the time it will be anger.

Why is it that we feel anger, and why do we hold on to that resentment with them? To understand that, we will need to understand anger, as the emotion will tell us the reason as to why we cannot forgive.

Anger is a response to something or someone that has not complied with what we wanted, what we were expecting – an idea or picture in our mind that we are attached too.

Perhaps you have asked someone to do something for you, or trusted them to take care of something that you let them borrow? We always would give this person the benefit of the doubt, otherwise, we wouldn’t have considered saying ‘yes‘. Maybe we had a little voice from our higher-self which said, don’t trust that person, that gut feel and intuition message that we ignored.

Our expectation was not met. The picture in our mind of what we thought would happen, how we assumed that they would act as we would with honesty or doing something a certain way as you do… was not met.

They didn’t return the item, or they returned it damaged. They didn’t get that product to you in time. The trust is broken, and you are angry.

That is fairly basic you would agree? Ok now let’s go deeper.

Where is it that anger is coming from? Just before we got angry, most likely we go disappointed, perhaps hurt, perhaps fearful that we have lost our control or power.

So in order to forgive someone, we must admit, own and release the pain that was associated with the person. This is the key to forgiveness.

 If you need help with forgiveness to release you from the pain contact us.