Anger with Our Children

I was in the water with Tommy this morning and I felt myself wanting to disconnect from him, ignore what he was saying and be angry and reactive.

I try my best to be a trauma-informed, gentle parent, but honestly sometimes I yell (and I hate it and beat myself up after because I really should know better). And you look into their sweet innocent face and their body flinches with fear, it's the freakin worst.

At that moment, I decided that I wasn't going to go down that path, so I stopped for a moment, looked at him and said "I can't talk right now sweety, mummy is angry so I just need to do some breathing, can you wait a few minutes?"

He looked understanding, so standing there in the water with him, I started to go right into the anger, breathed into it, turned it up, and followed the sensation around my body.

As that layer started to melt, I went down deeper into my body and mind, and a deep pain of frustration and constriction came through... I asked my body and mind... "what is...

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Behaviours Created from the Womb

Imagine for a moment that you’re in your mother's womb and you can hear your parents having an awful argument.

You feel your mother's anger, loneliness and hurt... as her emotions pump through your tiny body.

As you are in the womb, you are getting to know yourself, the world and the environment that you are going to be born into.

The range of cortisol and the stress that you feel amplifies your conscious thoughts and a belief burns into your biology that… conflict is scary.

You are now encoded with the belief that you should have fear of conflict & that this is what relationships look like.

Your parents don’t know any better, as they were shown the same & weren’t aware of any childhood wounds that may be playing out in their relationship.

Now that you're an adult, you may still have this belief.

It possibly plays out in your relationships as it’s been encoded into your brain & body that this is what ‘love looks like’.

It either...

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Belief Systems

Have you ever asked yourself what is a belief?

Have you ever questioned your beliefs?

Have you ever wondered whether reality actually needs beliefs?

Belief systems are the filter through which we view reality. The conscious part of our mind sees reality through an intricate web of conditioned beliefs and then we act and move in the world according  to those beliefs, the web stretches right down through every layer of our subconscious.

The beliefs we experience are created throughout the generations and within the collective and then taken on by the individual, and there is a consensus that these are absolute, that they are real.

They shape our worldview, they shape our self view, they shape the way we relate to others and to ourselves, and they shape the way the nervous system adapts to being on the planet.

Here is an example:

If I grow up in an environment that feels threatening, one of the core beliefs my body/subconscious may take on is “I'm not safe” or...

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