Healing Emotional Survival Patterns (PART 2)Oct 17, 2022
This is part 2, please first refer to part 1 before reading. (click the highlighted link)
Once we have made the relationship conscious and can see all the ways we move away from the emotion we can begin to heal and mend the relationship to it. When inviting anger in, we can begin to experience it fully, notice its qualities and reconnect with this part of ourselves.
Once we can meet it directly, without shunning, reacting, turning away or suppressing then anger no longer needs to be made an orphan, we can learn to integrate the energy back into the totality of our Being.
When this is done we can begin to hold our boundaries, our no means no, our will is our own and we reclaim our sovereignty and sense of individuality.
Learning to stay consciously connected to our experience in this way is an individuation process, one where we step out of the reactivity of our childhood and mature into a separated individual of our own.
Essentially there is no individuation without reconnecting and integrating these energies, as much of what makes up our inner experience remains reactive responses from our childhood, we are living as a product and reflex based on the way our parents and culture conditioned us.
Sovereignty is the result of integrating the survival based personality structures into our Being.
The same goes for all other emotions, one by one we can explore our relationship with them and make conscious all the reactions and rejections that govern the way we experience ourselves. Lots of these reactions are just ways to suppress and repress our emotions, and so long as we are suppressing we are continuing to perpetuate karmic cycles.
Anything that we continue to reject within ourselves energetically recycles in our nervous system, the energy finds resolution and completion only when we learn to meet and experience the energy. This looping energetic pattern is one of our definitions of trauma.
Healing is not about getting rid of emotions, it is not about attempting to numb or dumb down our humanity so we don't experience it. Healing is about reconnecting, about re-embracing and repatterning our whole body so we can experience the whole aray of the human experience without fear of it.
Our humanity is not an issue, emotions are not an issue, it is our relationship to them that causes the most intolerable parts of our suffering.
When we can meet our emotions without fear a very fundamental tension gets released, a layer of armour We unconsciously carry in order to protect ourselves from life due to our inability to experience without going into full overwhelm softens.
When we develop a capacity to meet our experience, then we are at that same moment developing a capacity to meet life. Our emotions colour our experience, they are what give depth to the fragility of our humanity, and if we have no capacity to experience them then life is going to seem terrifying, overwhelming, frightening and we will perceive it as something to be avoided.
Much of the time it is not life we are fearful of, but rather the emotions and reactions within ourselves that become triggered by life. It is our internal landscape we fear most, not the external world.
When we know how to meet the response of grief, despair, terror and of anger then human experience continues to unfold, but a layer of resistance has left, and deeper wisdom, fierceness and courage steps in when engaging in life.
As our emotional imprints are digested and metabolised our experience becomes fresh and our emotional response is a spontaneous arising in the present moment. We no longer relive the past over and over as reactive reflexes, and we no longer perpetuate karmic cycles but rather learn to live life to the fullest.
When the survival patterns are met and digested the unique quality of the individual is revealed.
Not one that is acting based on past conditioning but a true and unique individual essence and expression, who acts from their own nature and authenticity.
Peace & Blessing,
Matt Kay (Co-Creator of Embodied Processing)