The Conditioned Nervous System (PART 2)

A trauma-sensitive perspective on abuser/abused, victim/narcissist 

This is part 2, please first refer to part 1 before reading (click here)

Last week we explored the conditioning of the nervous system from the perspective of driving a car, but also how the nervous system becomes conditioned with a bundle of reactions and reflexes which show up in the way we relate to others.

Let's follow on from that and continue to explore how the victim/abuser cycle perpetuates itself and how both sides of the equation live from and in a trauma response which is perpetuated by the dynamic within the relationship.

 The dance becomes one of victim/perpetrator/rescuer. Usually our partner will mirror the opposite response to the one that dominates our patterning, if we are in a fight response and perpetrator role they will move into either a fawn, freeze or collapse (victim and rescuer).

The fawn or freeze causes them to be unable to leave the relationship, to walk on eggshells to...

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The Mirroring Concept

One of the concepts that we teach in Root-Cause Therapy is called Mirroring.

When we judge others (which is a natural human thing that we do as a part of our experience), it can become a key to healing by discovering our shadow aspects.

Shadow aspects are our blind spots.

Things that we do, how we behave unconsciously.

Mirroring, or noticing where we judge others, gives us a chance to shed light on these shadow aspects.

And to see where we are actually seeing ourselves in others

Where we are actually judging ourselves. For example, judging someone for how they dress.

If this is something that you notice a lot and find yourself internally making negative comments as you often scan people up and down …

Then most likely it’s something that you may feel insecure about within yourself.

The root-cause of this shadow aspect could be one of many layers, and will be different from person to person.

But for example it may be…

  • being judged harshly as a child or teen about...
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Childhood Trauma - What "Didn't" Happen

When we think of trauma we often think of what happened, sexual abuse, war, bullying, domestic violence, neglect etc. We think of periods of time or single events that caused distress and made a lasting impact on us.

Here at The Centre for Healing we define the trauma as what happens inside of a person as a result of what happened to them, or, what didn't happen, the imprint left within their psyche and nervous system from these kinds of experience is the trauma.

What many of us don't realise is that trauma is not always about what happened, quite often the imprint that is left within us is about what didn't happen.

When our experience lacks a certain quality, or a need goes unmet this also can leave a very damaging and lasting imprint that we carry with us for the rest of our lives. Developmental trauma can certainly and quite often show up as overt abuse and neglect, and as very obvious events that happen throughout one's childhood that cause arrests in development, but the other...

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Relationship to Anger

Anger is quite often quoted to me as the most difficult emotion for people to experience.

When we are children the energy and expression of anger is more often than not met with disdain, even forms of healthy aggression we can be conditioned to shut down and move into states of collapse, fawn or freeze instead.

When we express aggression and are met with some form of shaming by a larger more powerful being whom our survival relies on, part of our survival strategy is to then orphan our anger. We dissociate from this part of ourselves in order to maintain some kind of healthy relational attachment.

We may learn by their response that when anger is present love is withdrawn. Our relationship to anger then becomes one of resistance and our anger itself becomes associated with threat.

This can create layers of internal struggle along with unconscious self hatred and shame for having these emotions, which are actually in truth a very natural and healthy part of development.

...

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Can Someone Heal in a Toxic Environment?

 


Trauma Healing is a Lifestyle.

We can think about this topic imagining a fish living in a toxic fishbowl.
Let's say the fish wants to make change in their life and decides to do some therapy.

For 1 hour a week the fish leaves its bowl and sees a therapist and it feels great.
Even though there are uncomfortable things to work through, it feels great to be in a place of non-judgement and someone who really 'gets' them.

During the session emotions have been purged and they feel 'lighter'.
Problem is, as soon as they jump back into their bowl the toxicity of the water starts to seep into them again.

It doesn't take long  before they're messaging their Therapist saying:
"I need another session!!"

If our environment isn't set up for our healing & success then it makes things very difficult.
We tend to see it lead to session dependance and frustration.

That's not to say everything needs to be changed all at once.
As long as someone is moving in the direction of improving their...

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What is Embodied Processing?

 


Embodied Processing is the Bottom Up Approach to Healing Trauma & Nervous System Dysregulation

It is a Somatic Therapy based on a combination of ancient wisdom & the latest neuroscience in the field of trauma.

Navigating the Terrain

Guiding someone through the traumatic imprints, subconscious imagery & unconscious beliefs of their body can be daunting.
That's why having a map when we're learning is so important.

A lot of this process is one of Discernment.

- Discerning what is best to be investigated in that session.
- Discerning what is going to bring on a felt sense of safety for the client.
- Discerning the predominant emotion associated with the trigger
- Discerning the origin of the imprint
- Discerning which processing technique will help the client move through the emotion
- Discerning completion of the traumatic event
- Discerning the clients nervous system state throughout

With the right framework you can confidently start practicing and gaining experience.
The more...

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The Importance of Safety in Healing

 


"Safety is Healing" - Dr Stephen Porges

When someone has accumulated many traumatic imprints throughout their life, with no skills to regulate or process then the nervous system loses its sense of Safety.

We can go decades without truly feeling safe in our bodies.
At this point there is no capacity to deal with life's various situations & challenges.

When we Grow in Capacity then we have a solid foundation to deal with these challenges.
A container of Safety will start to build resilience and the emotional reactions can be dissolved into this safety.

Once our capacity continues to grow then the old emotional wounds from our past can be welcomed back to be integrated.

Feeling safe in the body can be a gradual process.
Like planting a seed. If we water that seed and continually look after it, it will grow.

We know we are growing when our language changes from "I can't handle this" to "I got this!"

Peace,
Ryan Hassan (Co-Founder at The Centre for Healing)

Want to work with us?
If you're...

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What is Belief Mining?

If you are in the personal development or healing space, you might be aware of the term ‘Limiting Belief’. The beliefs systems or filters in which directly influence how we see ourselves and the world but which are limiting us from achieving our goals in some way.

 

If you have taken our Root-Cause Therapy Practitioner Training, you may already be aware of a whole list of beliefs that you can test and work through with this life changing methodology. Click here to take the Free Pre-Training if you haven’t already.

Of course we want to find and work through as many as possible. But when we go too far into trying to find and heal every limiting belief, without a clear goal in mind of why and what we are trying to overcome… then we can get stuck in a belief mining trap.

 

Healing takes time. In an RCT Healing session, you are looking at clearing maybe 1-3 beliefs per week (the week in-between is needed for your mind and body to integrate lifetimes of...

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Root Cause Therapy Supports Chronic Suffering

My journey and education to date, has led me to believe that Dis-ease is an expression of an energetic imbalance within our body. 

Below is video from Dr. Gabor Mate’ discussing this very topic further.

 

Root Cause Therapy has the potential to create a harmonious relationship within ourselves by clearing the limiting beliefs and patterning we have accumulated in our current and ancestral journey.

Root Cause Therapy promotes conscious awareness to the relationships we have with our emotions, thoughts, behaviours and physical sensations through a very specific intake process. Using your own body as the surrogate for your unconscious mind, together as a team we connect to the limiting beliefs that have shown to be negatively impacting your life.

Once we have determined the lower vibrational frequencies that contribute to the limiting beliefs through the testing method, we proceed into the Time line therapy. This particular time line therapy is advanced in a way...

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Why Healing Is So Important

Few of us were lucky enough to grow up in a household of conscious parents.

From a young age, we have not been taught emotional intelligence,  how to navigate guidance from our soul, or even how to see everyone as one or a mirror of ourselves.

This has led to males being told not to cry or be emotional. It has led to women feeling very emotional and not knowing how to deal with it in a constructive way and be told that they are crazy for showing emotions.

Chances are because of the above and many other circumstances such as trauma or belief systems being forced onto us (most of the time with good intention but lack of truth or awareness).   It is so important to heal these wounds.

These experiences and occurrences form how we see the world in this moment. Every encounter from the baggage, misperception or emotions bottled up leads to us misinterpreting the current moment. It is like balls and chains which restrict our happiness, our energy and negatively...

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