Last week I discussed the dynamics and conditioned responses of the nervous system that underpin pathological narcissism and create the dynamic between abuser and the abused.
Of course, there are many other factors aside from just the conditioned fight reflex that are embedded within the structure of narcissism, such as disturbances in the development of self representations and fractured psychic structures due to arrests in childhood individuation. Nonetheless, for reasons of understanding the dynamics the fundamentals are more important than the details in this case and it is not necessary to fully understand the finer details in order to heal or gain deeper insight.
This week I am going to discuss healing from narcissism and from narcissistic abuse.
My intention is not to offer a...
This is part 2, please first refer to part 1 before reading (click here)
Last week we explored the conditioning of the nervous system from the perspective of driving a car, but also how the nervous system becomes conditioned with a bundle of reactions and reflexes which show up in the way we relate to others.
Let's follow on from that and continue to explore how the victim/abuser cycle perpetuates itself and how both sides of the equation live from and in a trauma response which is perpetuated by the dynamic within the relationship.
The dance becomes one of victim/perpetrator/rescuer. Usually our partner will mirror the opposite response to the one that dominates our patterning, if we are in a fight response and perpetrator role they will move into either a fawn, freeze or collapse (victim and rescuer).
The fawn or freeze causes them to be unable to leave the relationship, to walk on eggshells to...
Addiction for a very long time is something that has been stigmatised, shamed, looked down upon and people who are suffering from addiction are punished, outcasted from society and sent to prison.
The cultural view on addiction for the most part is that it has been some kind of moral failing, lack of willpower, a personal defect within the person or a conscious choice someone makes (like anyone would choose to live a life suffering in the grips of addiction).
The second model of addiction arose with the creation of 12 step programs, which is the disease model. This was a step in the right direction as it taught so called “addicts” to relate to themselves differently.
They where taught that they have an incurable disease which must be managed and if they where to refrain from using substances, they must attend meetings and work a thorough program in order to live a functional life free from their substance of choice, and the chaos active addiction causes.
In spiritual circles you might hear addiction described as a loss of the Self or Soul.
People often say the addictive behaviour is an attempt to get Home, a longing to experience their true self.
From a nervous system perspective the behaviour is actually trying to find Home....ostasis.
When someone becomes dysregulated due to their life circumstances they will get 'stuck' pinging between a shutdown response & over activation.
Using external means to try and regulate is a natural human inclination.
Some of these means are stigmatised by society, some are rewarded. The mechanism however, is the same.
If we only spend our time looking at the surface level manifestation of addiction then we can never truly understand.
We'll get stuck treating symptoms and telling people to "just say No"
This lens with which the collective has viewed addiction up until now has seen a slow steady increase in addiction rates over the past couple of centuries, despite a 'war' being declared...
What is Root-Cause Therapy?
Root-Cause Therapy is a trauma healing method which uses regression to allow the completion of unprocessed emotions which are still presently causing unwanted thoughts, behaviors and symptoms.
With advanced ways of testing and discovering the actual causation of the currently presenting unease within one self, which could be reflecting itself through negative life patterns and choices. A practitioner facilitated the client to tap into the self healing mechanisms of the deeper parts of their mind in an empowering safe container.
Assumptions and ‘theories’ are no longer necessary as we create a way for the mind and body to consciously access and reassess from a clearer perspective, whether this be in the past or negative projections into the future.
Each session with an RCT therapist is structured in such a way that they can help prioritise and work through life-long symptoms and past hurts in...
The ‘healing hangover’ or technically the Integration Period after a deep healing session.
A few of our clients are going through this at the moment, so it inspired me to write up about it in regards to what to expect and what is actually happening and the best way to manage it.
While I don’t like to put expectations or suggestions into peoples minds, after having conducted hundreds of healing sessions and having experienced a lot of healing’s myself (and many hangovers) this article is a generalisation of experiences and tips. You may experience little or none of these or you may experience them all. The main reason why I wanted to create this was because I have a belief that fear comes from not understanding, or expecting the worst
– so to avoid that I would like to give you some tips around this time that should help.
1. What to expect straight after your healing.
During a healing, a lot of pent up negative stagnant energy is being...
Have you heard that saying when it comes to your family, “well you can’t choose them”?
Is this, in fact, true though?
The truth is that we do choose our parents, or they have chosen us and we have agreed in our life between life. Having studied and read the theories of Michael Newton – we found that with our clients under hypnosis it is possible to see what happens in between each life. Before we re-incarnate we have many meetings and discussions with our soul group on a soul level. This is a fairly constant group (only visitors may attend) and they are usually your close family or friends in this life.
On a soul level, there is only love, peacefulness and a thirst to grow and attain more knowledge. When, on a soul level, we want to evolutionize our soul, we will choose ‘soul mates’ and create soul contracts that will be played out at some time in the next life in order for the soul to experience and learn.
For example, how will we learn that it...