This is part 2, please first refer to part 1 before reading. (click the highlighted link)
Once we have made the relationship conscious and can see all the ways we move away from the emotion we can begin to heal and mend the relationship to it. When inviting anger in, we can begin to experience it fully, notice its qualities and reconnect with this part of ourselves.
Once we can meet it directly, without shunning, reacting, turning away or suppressing then anger no longer needs to be made an orphan, we can learn to integrate the energy back into the totality of our Being.
When this is done we can begin to hold our boundaries, our no means no, our will is our own and we reclaim our sovereignty and sense of individuality.
Learning to stay consciously connected to our experience in this way is an individuation process, one where we step out of the reactivity of our childhood and mature into a separated individual of our own.
Essentially there is no individuation without...
In assisting someone in healing from the position of a victim it is absolutely essential to help them get in touch with their rage and anger, as previously mentioned the qualities of rage when fully contained and embodied are power, strength, autonomy, certainty, will etc.
When we feel connected to our strength and our power we are able to set sufficient boundaries, integrated anger is what makes No mean No, it is what gives us the strength to say ENOUGH and then follow through with appropriate action.
Fully stepping into anger brings us out of a dorsal vagal shutdown into a more healthy sympathetic response to a situation where we are being abused.
The most efficient way I have come across in assisting someone out of the please appease response is to work...
Last week I discussed the dynamics and conditioned responses of the nervous system that underpin pathological narcissism and create the dynamic between abuser and the abused.
Of course, there are many other factors aside from just the conditioned fight reflex that are embedded within the structure of narcissism, such as disturbances in the development of self representations and fractured psychic structures due to arrests in childhood individuation. Nonetheless, for reasons of understanding the dynamics the fundamentals are more important than the details in this case and it is not necessary to fully understand the finer details in order to heal or gain deeper insight.
This week I am going to discuss healing from narcissism and from narcissistic abuse.
My intention is not to offer a...
There are many questions that arise when it comes to Somatic/Trauma Therapy.
Matt & Ryan first lay the foundations of this work then here's a taste of what is covered:
Embodied Processing Practitioner Training: https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/embodied-processing
Combining Embodied Processing & Root-Cause Therapy class: https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/blog/combining-root-cause-therapy-embodied-processing
TCFH Practitioner Directory: https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/courses-3
The science behind the nervous system has evolved in recent years due to the studies of Stephen Porges and polyvagal theory.
This discovery has given us deeper insights into the nature of trauma as well as the shutdown, freeze and fawn responses and what happens in our neurophysiology when we enter these states.
Understanding the nervous system is like having a map of Texas, we can use the map to navigate the terrain and walk through the different landscapes without getting lost in it. Though, it is important to remember that the map is never the territory.
In other words the map is a helpful tool but it is via exploring and navigating our own direct experience that gives us true insight and brings about transformation.
We can have read and understand every study there is about strawberries, what makes them grow, what they taste like, what environments are most conducive for them etc, all of which are helpful in navigating and understanding a strawberry, but it is only by biting...
Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn
I'm sure you've heard of these nervous system states at some point.
In the above video we talk about what that actually looks like inside the branches of the Autonomic Nervous System.
When our nervous system perceives threat in the environment it will make a decision (without our conscious awareness of 'why') as to which state will be most beneficial to our survival.
Now our nervous system is not only reacting to physical threat, it is reacting to threats to our identity.
The mechanism is actually the same.
Fight / Flight
- Intense Energy
Freeze / Fawn
- Shutdown or Collapse
Connection / Social Engagement
- Ventral Vagal
- Safe (no Fear)
- Meditative State
- Play & Fun
Being able to activate the Ventral Vagus will start to re-adapt the nervous system.
Meaning we can regulate in a more efficient manner, both with circumstances that arise in our daily life & when...