In the western world we have a very “quick fix” attitude which in my experience in my time in this field is one of the biggest blocks to transformation.
When we have a headache we take a paracetamol and our headache goes away, when our car breaks down we call roadside assist and they come almost instantly, when we don't know the answer to something we pull out our phone and quickly google it.
We have literally everything at our fingertips. This attitude of instant gratification is actually an obstacle when it comes to inner healing and transformation.
In our rush to “get somewhere” what happens is we lose the ability to trust and to let the natural and organic intelligence do the healing for us, in our belief that we are broken we essentially disconnect further from our essential wholeness.
Imagine now you are out in the garden pulling out weeds, you catch your hand on the edge of a sharp rock and it cuts it open. You rush inside and wash out the wound and...
"Safety is Healing" - Dr Stephen Porges
When someone has accumulated many traumatic imprints throughout their life, with no skills to regulate or process then the nervous system loses its sense of Safety.
We can go decades without truly feeling safe in our bodies.
At this point there is no capacity to deal with life's various situations & challenges.
When we Grow in Capacity then we have a solid foundation to deal with these challenges.
A container of Safety will start to build resilience and the emotional reactions can be dissolved into this safety.
Once our capacity continues to grow then the old emotional wounds from our past can be welcomed back to be integrated.
Feeling safe in the body can be a gradual process.
Like planting a seed. If we water that seed and continually look after it, it will grow.
We know we are growing when our language changes from "I can't handle this" to "I got this!"
Ryan Hassan (Co-Founder at The Centre for Healing)
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3 Myths about Trauma
1 - Trauma is what happens to us
We classically think of trauma as a certain event, sexual abuse, veteran at war, car crash.
Trauma is actually what happens INSIDE of us as a result of external stimulus.
Here is what happens inside during trauma:
- A Nervous System in Overwhelm (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)
- Stored Emotional Energy / Survival Stress
- Creation of Painful Narratives
- Orphaned Parts
When we don't have a stable Resource of Safety to process the first 2, we then create the second 2.
This is the birth of a trauma & the associated trauma responses in similar life situations.
2 - What is traumatic for one person is traumatic for everyone
Based on the above point of trauma happening inside, we can see that different events may or may not be traumatic to a certain individual.
Some events will be traumatic to 95% of the population, some for 50% of the population and some events will only be traumatic to 5% of people.
We should never compare what...